Having Children Enriches Your Life
I have been pondering and thinking over a statement that was made by an old friend. She is in her early 30's and lives a classical world lifestyle of a working woman, married to a working husband, apartment they remodel and decorate, wine and fine food, eating out, parties, living on their own time...you get the picture. This is pretty typical not strange living for millions of people. It's not abnormal to live in this style. So, the statement expressed was, "We take parenting seriously, that's why we don't have kids."
There was something about this simple quick comment that hooked me and has not let me stop thinking about it. "Seriously." So, what does that exactly mean? Those of us who aren't masters of our careers and living in lavish lifestyles are not serious or responsible when we have children? That those who live their lives freely and pretty much do what they want, when they want and how they want are somehow more "serious" about parenting than a parent? If the so called "serious" individual was really serious about parenting, every penny earned would be being saved to pay for the birth of a child, the child's early years of expense and their growing up, rather than wine, new shoes and whatever other "serious" things that are bought. Every waking hour not at work or doing necessities would be spent reading up on parenting books, volunteering at a day care and forcing yourself to not sleep anymore, rather than partying, and doing what you want.
But the reality of this statement is that it doesn't work. You can't truly take parenting seriously until becoming a responsible parent. There is no book or class or study, to my knowledge, that teaches you to be a serious parent. There isn't anything you can do to really be a serious individual on parenting until you become one. I am not condoning lifestyles that aren't parenting, and there are some who for unknown reasons have to wait to have children, all of us in this life's journey are on our own paths. However, for one to state they are serious about an occupation they don't care to begin or put the time into is a false understanding of what life is. You have to put time and effort and great thought into what you are serious about. Yes, you shouldn't just have kids and not be prepared for the incredible commitment you just made, but not having them I would not say is responsible, or serious. Putting off children and living a lavish free lifestyle of your own is not serious, bottom line.
I am an individual who had looked forward to becoming a mother my whole life. There are some who this is not a big goal or focus and that is totally fine. But for me, a girl who has dreamt and prepared herself to be a mother was completely floored by what becoming a mother really took. You're life literally changes and your whole being is dedicated to this little person. Being a serous parent requires you to "give up your life." The free time you once spent is now feeding a baby, cleaning up after a baby, reading books to a baby, laughing and teaching a baby, loving a baby and enriching their life. Other parents I'm sure will agree that it is the hardest and most rewarding occupation one can begin. You learn about a state of being tired you never thought existed. You learn how to give up things of less importance for things of greater worth (which most of the time aren't tangible). You learn to keep a budget. You learn how to truly love and give of yourself. You learn life's most important lessons by being in a family and even more so by becoming a parent. It is a serious business and it is not for the faint at heart. It is the greatest life choice you can make. There are times when I look back on being pregnant, quitting my full time Graphic Design job, bringing Jane into the world, the endless sleepless days and nights of her first few months of life, the discussions of a tight budget with my mister James, the time spent on feeding and teaching this little lady, the moments of "can I really do this", and the laughter and joy she brings into our lives...and I think, "I'm sure glad we chose to become parents!" There is no more serious decision in life than to raise a child with your spouse. A husband and wife becoming parents is the most serious step that they can make.
There are moments when I think about the glamour and fun time it would be to have all my time back and to be a top in my field. I'm sure there are many a mother who have thoughts of what they "gave up" to become a mother. And many who think they are not making much of a difference and that their lives are not worth much cause they are "just a mom"...but you're changing the world. You're learning the beauty of this life. You are amazing!! You are serious about the little people you are raising and you are awesome! And you dads, wow! You give up tons of your hard earned pay check to raising and caring for a family! Instead of getting a new toy or better toys you buy diapers and food for the table. Yep, dads rock! Becoming a mother and father is a serious step and a wonderful stage!
There is a beautiful message given by parents who put their life on "hold" to begin a family. But in reality it's the beginning of life, because children really and truly do "enrich life." They bring more purpose into your work, they bring more love into your life, they strengthen marriages, make communities grow and have hope, they are he greatest investment and joy you can ask for. So take parenting seriously and become one!
Watch the message here:
http://www.lds.org/video/mormon-messages/having-children-enriches-your-life
