I have been pondering a lot lately on the subject of personal choice. We are all blessed with agency. Each day we make thousands of choices. Good and bad. But they are our choice! Many times in life people will try and pass the responsibility or blame of their choices upon others. This is wrong. Choice is upon each of us and we have the great privilege of that freedom.
I have noticed a great deal of this passing judgment and blame upon others when a wrong choice is made and it makes me sad. When you are given a gift as beautiful as agency and choice you must strive to realize its boundaries and joys. There is no reason in heaven if you decide to be lazy or spend your time doing an activity of your choice to then blame someone else you didn't get a project done. One should not pass guilt onto someone else if they are ill prepared for something. They had the choice to prepare for it. Parents should never guilt their children into an endless cycle of "you're wrong, I'm right" or you should always be pleased with me even when I'm being rude because I'm your parent. Employees should not complain constantly and make work a prison for themselves, it's your choice to be angry, no one else's. Youth cannot blame bad grades on their parents....this list could go on and on for the blame and guilt people seem to think is appropriate to pass onto someone else for their personal bad choice.
The parable that comes to mind is that of the 10 Virgins and their oil lamps. It all came down to choice as to whose lamps were filled and prepared to meet the bride groom. Choice ultimately allows us the joy and honor of being prepared. It is up to us, no one else, to fill our lamps. You can't go around in life blaming everyone else why you aren't prepared and then when the true moment comes beg for help or blame it on someone else. But people do. Choice must be yours to own! And yours alone.
My mind also turns to the great book, "Mans search for meaning." Victor Frankle lived through the horrors of a concentration camp and described the choice of how to act after such a horrific event. As he and other prisoners were freed from their camp they passed fields of crops growing along the side of their path. A fellow prisoner openly started to stomp through the field killing the growing plants. Mr. Frankle was asked to join and he refused, his friend basically angrily responded, "We've been so wronged, we have the right to do this." But he was wrong in that choice. I'm sure none of us would blame this man for all the pain and sorrow he went through to react this way. But there is a higher road. A higher choice. And Mr. Frankle lived that! No matter what wrongs you have lived through you should never let that govern your choice to hurt others. Why pass the hurt? Why not choose joy and spread love. The world already has so much hate.
I used the word "boundaries" earlier because that is something that Mister James and I have had to work on tirelessly in our marriage. You do not have to be battered and guilted by others poor choices. Set up boundaries to protect you and those you love. It is not right for you to carry the weight of others rude choices. We have had to make tough choices in our life to keep important boundaries to make sure our little family is safe and feels the joy of this life. Our choice is to interact with positive people that help us draw closer to Christ. There is nothing more important than focusing on the positive and if others choices are detracting from that goal and desire it brings you down. There is great importance in loving others and choosing to be kind always but there is a difference between being battered and being a good listener. When you are being put down or bullied because of the poor choices of others it is not right. Make the hard choice to break away, to stand for the right and to bring positivity back into your life.
I felt a strong desire to write about this because of how important I feel it is. We live in a generation of choice! Oftentimes we are called the "choice generation." And I do not believe that is saying we are the best, the cream of the crop or the most righteous of people to be saved for this time. It is because we have so many choices!! Endlessly we are given so much to choose from. We choose who we serve, we choose what we will focus on in life, we choose how we will act, how we will spend our time and how we will treat others. In an era where we are given so much choice, how will we choose? Choose well, for your choices may be brief but they will ripple into eternity!
I had a friend recently post this and I thought it had great advice:
http://www.goforhealth.co/2015/10/14/8-things-to-remember-when-everything-is-going-wrong-stopping-3-changed-my-life/
