A few weeks ago I spoke to the Young Women of my church ward. I had made notes of what to say and then veered off of them for a good portion of my talk. It's amazing how the Spirit can direct you on a different topic then you had planned. Hopefully one person there that night needed what I said, even if it was just me. The theme of the evening was "The Cinderella Ball" and making it to the temple. I was requested to talk about getting to the temple and preparing for marriage. So here is my talk, well not exactly what was said ;) but a pretty good outline!
The fairy tale phrase that kept coming to my mind upon preparing this talk was the classic phrase of "Mirror, mirror on the wall, Who's the fairest of them all?" In the world we live in today is that not the focus of many women? How can we be the prettiest, most popular, fashionable....the list could go on and on. But in the end that is not the right focus of the question and the right person you want to be looking out of the mirror at you. Elder Uchtdorf gave an amazing talk a few years ago titled, "happily ever after" in this he stated,
"I want to draw your attention to something very significant, very extraordinary. On the first page of your Young Women Personal Progress book, you will find these words: “You are a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose.”
Sisters, those words are true! They are not made up in a fairy tale! Isn’t it remarkable to know that our eternal Heavenly Father knows you, hears you, watches over you, and loves you with an infinite love? In fact, His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of “once upon a time,” complete with your own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension. Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.”But such a blessing does not come without a price. It is not given simply because you desire it. It comes only through understanding who you are and what you must become in order to be worthy of such a gift."
True beauty comes from loving you for who you are, a daughter of God!! And making sure that you are seeking ETERNAL HAPPINESS! Where does happiness, real happiness come from? A woman that is on my list of "fairest of them all" is Audrey Hepburn. She is a woman of class and beauty. She is quoted as saying, "Happy girls are the prettiest!" Preparing for the temple and being worthy to enter its sacred walls start you on the path of eternal happiness. I sing the words, "I love to see the temple, I'm going there someday..." To Jane each night. How does one prepare to enter the house of the Lord? You must come to KNOW the Lord! When you feel comfortable in someone's home you've taken the time to get to know them. Do they like you to take your shoes off by the door? Do they enjoy family meal time? Do they have a tv on at all times?
When growing up I had a dear friend, Teresa, one time she invited me over to her home for the first time. I was so excited. At the time I was using crutches because I had broken my ankle. When I got to her home I noticed there were plastic liners covering the carpeted stairs and everything had its place. We went downstairs and began to play. Before we left that room her mother came in with a disapproving look and asked Teresa to go around and rub my crutches marks from out of the carpet. I felt awful. If I had known that would make my dear friend have to rub the whole floor down I wouldn't have used them. The Lord wants you to feel prepared to enter into sacred covenants with him in His holy house. The Lord does not want you to feel uncomfortable in His home. He wants you to feel welcome and like you are at home! This is why your own homes need to emulate the temple so you feel at peace and a familiarity with the spirit of the temple. You should not feel like an unwelcome guest or a bothersome visitor. When you think about the story, "The Princess and the Pea" what comes to mind? The huge stack of mattresses with one small pea. The queen and prince know that if the young lady feels the pea then she's a true princess. Are we noticing the imperfections we may have that keep us from our royal heritage? Are we repenting and preparing ourselves to be pea-free when we enter His home? Don't allow the world to cloud the knowledge of who you are! Focus on those things that matter most.
Elder Uchtdorf said,
"Sisters, young sisters, beloved young sisters, stay true to what you know is right. Everywhere you look today, you will find promises of happiness. Ads in magazines promise total bliss if you will only buy a certain outfit, shampoo, or makeup. Certain media productions glamorize those who embrace evil or who give in to base instincts. Often these same people are portrayed as models of success and accomplishment.
In a world where evil is portrayed as good and good as evil, sometimes it is difficult to know the truth. In some ways it is almost like Little Red Riding Hood’s dilemma: when you are not quite sure what you are seeing, is it a beloved grandmother or is it a dangerous wolf?"
There are mirrors ALL throughout the temple. When you are married you have two mirrors and you can only see your companion forever!!! As you put others first, especially the Lord, you will find out who the fairest of them all is. For eternal happiness comes in the temple and thus eternally beautiful women prepare themselves to go there! Being the fairest of them all means you are living a life worthy of the beauty of temple covenants. You are living the highest standard among women.
The greatest decision and the highest covenant you will make is when you are married. Eternal happiness is achieved as you work hard and commit to a man to covenant with each other in the temple. In every fairytale there is the dashing prince. All princes are different and all princesses are to for that matter. When you think about your prince what are the things that matter to you in them? Are they vain qualities that make him fair to look at or is their depth to this dream man? And are you preparing yourself for him? I made a list in one of my Personal Progress Projects of the things I desired in my frog prince. And James meets all of them! I did not know this until after I married him though. I think sometimes we need to learn that a spouse is not perfect but that you both become perfected as you journey together! It takes work! When you think of all the princesses they had to struggle and work. Bell sacrificed her home and family to live with a beast to save her father. Sleeping Beauty missed out on growing up with her parents. Cinderella washed and cleaned tirelessly and had lost her father. But each of them strived to discover their talents, rise above their challenges and discover the good. In marriage and life it takes work to be happy. In our world if things aren't working out eternal goals and happiness are thrown by the wayside. I'm sure the Beast didn't all of a sudden eat just right. Being patient and loving in a marriage is crucial, and the covenants of the temple will bless and strengthen you!
How many of you have read, really read and studied, the Strength of Youth Pamphlet? Those values and standards are a guide to the life you need to live in order to start on your temple path! They are not old fashioned or out of date, they are true!! Don't shift your standards to match the worlds because their standards are false. They never lead to lasting happiness or feeling really good about yourself! When you are living a life worthy of the temple you are HAPPY! When you can answer to the Lord "I am clean" what a blessing that is!!!
As you live the standards of the gospel and prepare yourselves for entering the holy temple “[you] will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.” This is where your happily ever after comes to be reality. And where you discover that happy girls are the prettiest.
Referenced Elder Uchtdorf's "Your happily ever after" talk!!!! Go read it!!